


you were talking so brave and so sweet

by lanyon



Series: i've got your blood under my fingernails [18]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Community: ccbingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 17:57:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lanyon/pseuds/lanyon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of voice messages between Coulson and Barton during a particularly long mission</p><p><b>T+3; 0000 GMT+3</b><br/>[Message erased]</p><p><b>T+3; 0003 GMT+3</b><br/>[Message erased]</p><p><b>T+3; 0108 GMT+3</b><br/>[Message erased]</p><p><b>T+2; 1732 EST</b><br/>Do you want me to explain how it’s done, Barton?</p>
            </blockquote>





	you were talking so brave and so sweet

**T+3; 0000 GMT+3**

[Message erased]

 

**T+3; 0003 GMT+3**

[Message erased]

 

**T+3; 0108 GMT+3**

[Message erased]

 

**T+2; 1732 EST**

Do you want me to explain how it’s done, Barton?

 

**T+3;  0500 GMT+3**

No, I can do this, sir. It’s just weird. Talking to a machine. I mean, you’d think I’d be used to it, hanging out with Iron Man and his little metal friends. It’s still weird. Do you know what else is weird, Coulson? It’s Natasha. Have you ever been to eastern Europe with her? I swear she gets scarier the closer we get to the Motherland.

 

**T+5; 0703 GMT+3**

I think this is going to be a total bust, Coulson. Five days in and there is fuck-all to see. Goats. They’ve got goats. I’m thinking of going skiing tomorrow.

 

**T+5; 0100 EST**

You’re not paid to going skiing, Barton. SHIELD is very quiet without you. Stark is bereft.

 

**T+5; 2247 GMT+3**

Stark is bereft? Is this your way of telling me that you miss me, sir? Are you projecting onto Tony? He’s always threatened to install an archery subroutine onto Dummy. Maybe he should do that. I mean, it won’t have my charm and innate sense of style but it might fill the gap in his life. It might fill the gap in your life, too, sir. If you know what I mean. Who knows what subroutines Stark has up his sleeve.

 

**T+7; 1332 EST**

If I never hear the words ‘Stark’ and ‘subroutine’ coming out of your mouth again, it’ll be too soon. I got Romanov’s report yesterday. Where’s yours?

 

**T+8; 0315 GMT+3**

Phil. Phil Phil Phil. I can’t believe you’re talking about work.

 

**T+7; 1832 EST**

Stop deflecting, Clint. Why didn’t you tell me about your arm?

 

**T+8; 1955 GMT+3**

Aw, man. Did Natasha tell on me? She totally told on me. Look, it’s nothing, Coulson. I promise. Cover’s not blown. I think it was some kind of Latverian initiation ceremony. I’m one of them now, Coulson. They’re a lovely, peace-loving people. Actually, they are. It’s just that they also produced von Doom levels of crazy and apparently think that Hammer is some kind of hero. I totally should have brought some Iron Man action figures to prove them wrong.

 

**T+8; 2001 GMT+3**

I really am okay, though, Phil. I promise.

 

**T+13; 0607 EST**

Just checking in, Barton. It’s been a rough ride at HQ this week.

 

**T+13; 1419 GMT+3**

Are you okay, sir?  You sound a bit. Muffled. Don’t make me come over there.

 

**T+13; 0623 EST**

Your concern is touching, Clint. Just took a fist to the mouth. Admittedly, it was Hulk’s fist but no lasting damage.

 

**T+13; 1429 GMT+3**

Shit. _Phil_. You tell that bastard that I’m using him for target practice when I get home.

 

**T+13; 0635 EST**

Your concern is noted, Clint. I can assure you that Dr Banner is in worse shape than I am.

 

**T+22; 0603 EST**

Thank you for the reports, Barton. Unfortunately, all the gold stars have gone to Romanov but you’ve got a passing grade. This time.

 

**T+23; 1258 GMT+3**

Remind me why you weren’t an elementary school teacher again, sir? Was it because you’re too fucking ninja?

 

**T+28; 1443 GMT+3**

Okay, I’m going to be out of the loop for a while, Coulson. I’ve got an in with some of the rank and file and I think we’re moving out tomorrow. Once it’s approved by you higher-ups, I’ll be on the move.

**T+28; 1002 EST**

I’ve seen the plan, Barton. Take care.

 

**T+28; 2027 GMT+3**

I love you too, sir.

 

**T+35; 1409 EST**

I never thought I’d say this in any context involving you but it turns out I’m not such a big fan of radio silence, Barton.

 

**T+37; 1208 EST**

It’s Saturday. Obviously. Your favourite waitress was asking for you, Clint. Says that the maple syrup supplies have hit critical mass now that you’re not here to use it all up.

 

**T+42; 2351 EST**

Stark’s talking about subroutines again. I didn’t tase him.

 

**T+45; 2133 EST**

There are hotspots on the map, Barton. What the fuck is going on over there?

 

**T+46; 0423 EST**

Romanov says you haven’t contacted her in three days, Barton. That’s unacceptable. Send up smoke signals. Anything. We need to know what’s happening over there.

 

**T+48; 0203 EST**

Barton, what’s going on?

 

**T+49; 1732 EST**

[Message erased]

 

**T+58; 0102 EST**

We’ve lost contact with Romanov, Barton. On the off-chance you can access this, I’m going to need you to report or we’re moving in.

 

**T+60; 0302 GMT+1**

Coulson, it’s Romanov. I’m in Liepzig. I know I’m not supposed to know about this number but we’ve been compromised. Seriously compromised, sir.  It figures that your hotline would be the only secure one left. They’re still on my-

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> +Title from Leonard Cohen's wonderful _Chelsea Hotel #2_.  
>  +For Bingo Prompt "Talking on the Phone for Hours While Separated". (It would be hours if Coulson was verbose and Clint wasn't in a potential warzone).


End file.
